Molly: Welcome to our first weekly review of the DC TV universe. Maybe I shouldn’t call it that since we’re not bothering with Gotham. Anyway, we’re covering Vixen (just this week), Arrow, The Flash, and eventually Supergirl and Legends of Tomorrow.
Amber: Hello! We’re here to make (decent) jokes and talk a lot about our feelings regarding television superheroes. I’m excited for this because there are so many great superhero shows out right now! TV is also the only time DC ever makes me happy anymore.
Molly: When last we left our shows, my Arrow OTP drove off into the sunset and my Flash OT3 got shot through the chest. This is going to be fun.
Molly: My main takeaway from the Vixen series is probably the same as everyone else’s: Let’s give this a full try now, shall we? One half-hour episode of television (because really, that’s what it felt like) divided up five minutes per week isn’t the ideal format for most things. Vixen deserves something so much more because it has so much going for it. Matt Ryan is traversing time and space and different networks to get another shot as Constantine and I sincerely hope this isn’t the last we see of Vixen in this universe either. My favorite parts were the way she fought with Barry and Oliver and the nature of her powers lent itself well to creatively using different ways to fight. I loved watching the fighting in a way I don’t always do.
“You think you necklace is magic?”
We can all agree that the formatting of this show is not the best, but for five minute episodes they were excellent. I really like Mari and I think Vixen is ideal for a cartoon. I am semi-familiar with Vixen from the comics and this show made me like her a lot more. The show was much funnier than I expected and I enjoyed watching it so much that next season I probably won’t even forget to watch.
My only complaint is that I wish there had been more episodes where Vixen beat up Oliver and Barry.
His name is Barry Allen. To the outside world, he’s an ordinary forensic scientist [Ed. note from Molly’s mom: He’s an adorable forensic scientist. He always says that wrong.], but secretly, though increasingly less secretly, he’s The Flash, who runs really really fast and saves a bunch of people.
Molly: I honestly don’t have a ton to say about The Flash this week. I thought the episode was…fine. Ending on a cliffhanger like that, they wanted this premiere to tell us what happened and then move us into the new status quo (which is ultimately a lot like the old status quo). It did that adequately, but I wasn’t impressed by this episode. Eddie’s still dead because apparently getting a vasectomy wouldn’t have been good enough, Ronnie’s dead again, Henry’s finally out of jail but he’s leaving town for reasons that didn’t really make sense and might mean he’s a super villain, but probably means they just don’t want John Wesley Shipp around all the time. Just as long as he doesn’t go out for ice cream.
Amber: I was mostly happy with the Flash premiere. My main complaint is all the unanswered questions we are left with from last season. I’m assuming that the arrival of Jay Garrick is going to address some of them, but I’ve got one big gaping plot hole that I can’t let go of: If Eddie killed himself to erase Eobard/Wells from the time line then how does any of this crap still exist? Barry wouldn’t have his powers, he would have met Cisco or Caityn, Ronnie would still be alive…the list goes on and on. I know that this was probably just writer oversight, but it seems to be a pretty big one considering we spent that whole finale talking about the repercussions of altering timelines.
Molly: This is really bothering me too, though since I expect we haven’t seen the last of Tom Cavenaugh, maybe we just have to wait and see what happens.
Amber: Rule number #1 of being a superhero: Never, ever, travel in time. In other news, I’m happy to see Jay Garrick, but I’m overall disappointed that we still don’t have Wally. Give me Wally. That’s literally all I want from this show.
Molly: I also thought Wally West was supposed to show up (IMDB wasn’t very accurate this week; it also said Nyssa was supposed to be on Arrow) and I’m bummed that didn’t happen.
His name is Oliver Queen. He spent five years in various places, none of which were pleasant, and returned as The Arrow. After his best friend pointed out he was being excessively murdery, he stopped killing people and just shot them full of arrows so it would badly maim and severely injure, but not kill.
Amber: My OTP being domestic is just like…am I dreaming? Is this real?
Molly: Whereas I can’t stand domesticity in my ships usually, but I’m so on board with this opening. It’s adorable. It should be noted that “You have failed this omelet” is without a doubt the lamest thing Oliver Queen has ever said.
Amber: On one hand Oliver getting rid of Shado’s tattoo bothers me, but on the other hand it’s a huge part of him letting go of the Arrow identity. But I honestly don’t need Oliver to come back. Diggle, Thea, and Laurel are enough for me.
Molly: They sure do though. Laurel and Thea are trying to make this new team run smoothly but Diggle is IN PAIN AND WANTS YOU TO KNOW IT.
Amber: His helmet is dumb, but the rest of Dig’s outfit is hot.
Molly: Everyone’s costumes leveled up in hotness this season.
Amber: My number one complaint for this episode is that we never get a canary scream. Who sees a puppy in pain and is like, “Oh, I guess I better kill it”? This guy is the worst. Oh, just kidding, the brunchers are the worst.
Molly: Definitely by this scene, my haze of happiness with the domesticity evaporates because I can’t get over the idea of these people giving Oliver a slow cooker as a present. A present. Oliver shows the white suburban couple the ugly ring he’s going to give to Felicity and then shows off his remarkable reflexes. His training on the island involved seven hours of water slapping a day, followed by three hours of bottle catching.
Amber: The champagne bottle catching was something he learned pre-island because Tommy was always dropping shit.
Molly: Oliver lamely clichés a proposal in a dessert (and that ring was huge, she could really choke on this thing), but gets interrupted by New Team Arrow except for Diggle who is IN PAIN, in case you hadn’t heard.
Amber: I really think Diggle should just hit Ollie hard once and he’ll feel a lot better. Then he can also give him better proposal ideas. Oliver is 100% listening to that dumb brunch lady and he shouldn’t.
Molly: I mean, should we really expect a brilliant proposal from the man who when he was the Best Man showed up 15 minutes before the ceremony?
Amber: Laurel says Oliver should be “who you are in your bones.” Quit fucking saying that, Laurel. Stop knowing people in their bones.
Molly: I almost never care about the flashbacks, even those with Amanda Waller, but they’re still going to have to exist for another two seasons, presumably. Oliver broods deeply, Amanda drugs him and drops him on Lian Yu.
Amber: I don’t care about anything in this flashback except the brief glimpse of Hal Jordan’s flight jacket.
Molly: Thea is trying very hard to set herself up to be the best character this season (the way Laurel was last season’s surprise MVP) and I could not be happier. One of my favorite Thea things in this episode was that her fighting style as Red Arrow is still undefined. Her heightened aggression aside, she pulled a couple different types of moves, whereas John and Laurel went to their styles (shooting people and punching men really hard, respectively). Thea’s still figuring out her style.
Amber: I’m sure besides her training from Malcolm and Oliver, she’s learning from Laurel and Dig. Thea’s still so new, I’m excited to see how she turns out.
Molly: I was thrilled to start seeing repercussions of Thea’s resurrection and I desperately hope this is a season-long arc for her. Really, I hope it’s an arc for her the rest of the show. I hope we built up to something more. There’s got to be a reason we haven’t just chucked everyone in there (not yet, anyway), right? One hour of confusion and amnesia and a little heightened aggression seems like a reasonable price to pay to bring Tommy Merlyn back into your life.
Amber: I’m curious to what New Team Arrow’s policy on killing has been. Diggle obviously will take lives what with using guns. Laurel probably not so much. And Thea seems fairly ready to kill at the drop of a hat and I like that also.
Molly: That’s an excellent question. Teams like this (the Scoobies, Scott McCall’s pack) usually have a very strict policy for no killing ever never ever ever and those policies usually need to be a little looser. I wonder if they’ll come to that place as a team this season.
Amber: I bet it will be more of an issue now that Oliver is back. I don’t think the other three were as hard on each other as Oliver will be. Official petition to change Team Arrow to Team Leather Jacket.
Molly: I will pay one million dollars for them to be Team Leather Jacket. Oliver talks a lot about handling darkness by internalizing it, which certainly seems like setup for his arc this season. Oliver then acts like a Batman villain in this episode and takes over all the TV stations to put out a message.
Amber: “I am….the Green Arrow…and I am definitely not the same guy who was the Arrow. Because he died. For real.”
Molly: We have a new Big Bad in the form of Damien Darhk, who appears to be the son of Gunther Centralperk and Mary-Kate and Ashley’s grandpa in Passport to Paris.
Amber: Darhk says, ”You can’t be the Arrow! He died.” Man, everyone on this show fucking dies. Get with it.
Molly: Half the Legends of Tomorrow have to be resurrected before that show can start.
Amber: Or at least restored to their original size. Things I Need From This Season: MORE THEA AND LAUREL. I can’t wait to see them living together. it’s my already my favorite.
Molly: Oliver says that Thea has been staying at Laurel’s for the past few months and I guess this shows how prone to suggestion I am, but I got to work right away building that ship to jump on board. Damien Darhk does some creepy stuff in a wonderously cool looking room, then talks to his new puppet…Captain Lance.
Amber: Flash forward to the worst minute of my life.
Molly: I’ve watched TV before. I know better than to take this scene at face value. They want you to think it’s Felicity’s grave and they want you to think she’s really dead. I doubt both of those things are true, maybe not even either of them, but I was still mightily affected by that scene. My only consolation was that it was too big of a grave to be Sara Diggle’s, which would’ve been devastating.
Amber: I’m not convinced it’s Felicity’s grave because a) Barry would never miss her funeral b) I have also watched TV before. I do really think it’s Diggle. Maybe Thea. I’ve thought Diggle was going to die pretty much every season and this season…now that he’s a mask I’m more convinced it’s him.
Molly: Dear Arrow writers: You have have a season without a major death. It’s okay. Really. You don’t have to all the time. We can just stay here for a while.
Amber: This is the CW they have to kill someone once a year. It’s in their contracts.
Molly: I thought this was a strong premiere. Like with Flash, we’re getting to the new status quo, but getting there felt more fun and usually The Flash does a little better on the fun scale than Arrow does.
Amber: I guess I should talk about my OTP a little: They were so cute it grossed me out a little and I was fine with that. I really liked that Felicity was working with the team behind Ollie’s back because of course she was. I was really happy with the episode even if Laurel didn’t use her canary scream. Go Team Leather Jacket!
Molly: Please let that name catch on.
You can follow Molly on Twitter @mollycady and on tumblr at mollysmonsters. You can follow Amber on tumblr at amberlizabeth.